Emotional intelligence is something you can develop
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Can you tell what Im thinking right now? Well, right now..well, right now..well, right now.. well, right now..Can you imagine if you couldnt tell what I was thinking? How difficult would it be to interact and react to me if you couldnt tell what emotions I was feeling and those few facial expressions? Research by Dr Paul Ekman has shown that we experiences as human beings are cross cultures and genders. Six basic emotions. The emotions of happiness and sadness, the fear and anger, of disgust and surprise. He finds that a cross-genders and cultures that what people experience in most reactions, we have some more facial expressions. So, happiness , we generally can recognize happiness and others , anger we can generally recognize anger and others. Not everybody can read those emotions of other people. Young children for example, they havent learned enough. They experience the basic emotions. The basic emotions of happiness or sadness. Not the more complex or new ones emotions that we ideally learn over the course of our lives. The emotions of shame, which maybe a good one to learn, maybe it is or pride. If we want to be able to interact with people and understand with people it is very beneficial as we understand what theyre experiencing and feeling . Emotional intelligence added space is your ability to understand your own emotions, to understand what youre feeling and where its coming from, to place where it belongs and then your ability to manage your own emotions so that you can understand that if you are feeling a certain way, angry, that may not be result of that situation maybe a result of something else. And then to manage that, so understanding, imagining your own emotions, and thats followed by the ability to understand and read and interpret the emotions of others and then manage their emotions . For example , lets say that you came across a co-worker at work walking down the hall. You may do not know that person very well and you said to them, Hows your day? and they responded, Great ! Im having a fabulous day. Will that inform how youre gonna react next? What if you came across them and said, Hows your day? and they said Great ! Im having a fabulous day. With that informed, how are you gonna respond to them next? If you came across them and you said, Hows your day? and they said Great ! Im having a fabulous day. And you responded, Great! Im glad to hear it. Do you think that could cause a bit of a misunderstanding? Do you think that person may work ways and, Wow, what a jerk! He doesnt get it at all. He doesnt care. He wasnt even paying attention. Thats the advantage of emotional intelligence, your ability to see that person as upset and the form of reaction in response as appropriate to the situation. So for example, your ability to say, when they say theyre upset or when they say that theyre not upset and you can tell theyre upset, Im having a fabulous day. And you say, You dont seem like having a fabulous day. Im sorry to hear that. Whats happening? What happened? You dont need to form a lifelong relationship with them. Only a few minutes, taking a few minutes of your day to help reread and manage their emotions . And thats the beauty of emotional intelligence in developing your emotional intelligence. The nice thing about emotional intelligence is, unlike intellectual intelligence which tends to be fixed, emotional intelligence is something that you can develop over the course of your life. By learning to understand your emotions and get to handle all them, you can then learn to understand other peoples emotions. And by learning to manage your emotions, you can begin to learn and understand how to manage other peoples emotions to your reactions and your actions to them. So, take the time each day starting today and begin to be more mindful of what youre thinking and feeling and why. If youre in a bad mood, try to understand where it came from. Is it from that moment or its just something else on your mind? Feel and understand emotions so that you can change how youre reacting and that you can manage it more effectively. So, emotional intelligence is an important part of your work day, of your home life and getting a handle on it ,being able to say, I understand why Im feeling this way and Im gonna change my emotions to be more effective for the situations. I understand how that persons feeling and Im gonna manage the situation to build a better relationship can help you feel better about yourself and help you have stronger and better relationships with your family, friends and co-workers. So, today, after you go and watch movie,